I’d like to introduce to you to my Hooster named Morph. Morph started out like all the other chickens, but as time went along, we couldn’t tell if it was a hen or a rooster. So we called the he-she, Morphodite, a.k.a. Morph.
As Morph grew, he looked like a rooster, but he didn’t crow and he didn’t try to mount the girls. Trouble was, he wasn’t laying eggs either. It was a real pickle.
My dad was certain Morph would be a late bloomer hen, but I was convinced Morph was simply one sorry rooster.
Recently, we came to a verdict.
Morph is indeed a sorry rooster.
His instincts have kicked in, and he has decided he’s interested in the hens. But he is so retched slow, he can’t ever seem to properly mount them. He’s tried several maneuvers:
- Circling. He walks around the girls until one seems “unaware” of his hulking presence. Then he attempts a pounce. However, by the time he throws himself toward the girl, she has already run clear away.
- The “Subtle” Side-Step. This is Morph’s favorite maneuver. He pretends to be pecking the ground for food, inches right up beside the hen, and lifts his claw. But by the time he actually extends his leg over her back, she has scooted out from under him and has scampered away, leaving Morph confused and alone.
- The Clamp. He grabs ahold of the girl’s neck feathers and tries to pull himself on top of her back. Nevertheless, the hen wiggles her body and shrugs him off with little effort.
I have to hand it to the poor boy though, he doesn’t stop trying. Today, Morph resorted to chasing my oldest and slowest gal, two-year old, Tiffany. But even Tiff had him off in under ten seconds. Poor Morph. He failed again.
Even when I throw out treats, he’s extremely slow and stupid. The scratch grains hit the ground and the hens are on it like flies on manure. But good ol’ Morph will be looking around like, “Did you throw it yet?” I shake my head and say, “Morph, look down at your feet.”
I can’t help but laugh.
Tonight, Morph enters the coop a sad and lonely soul. No loving for him.
The hens however, enter the coop happy and content. They’ve evaded him for yet another day.