I decided to re-post this blog because several friends of mine are experiencing the same pain that prompted me to write this over a year ago.
As many of you know, I lost my daughter Shiloh in December 2011. I felt like my heart was split wide open, aching and bleeding. Four months later, my sister lost her first baby. I felt my heart’s wound widen and the pain grow deeper. Then in August of 2012, I lost another baby, my darling Selah. I didn’t know how a heart so torn with grief could continue to beat. And sometimes, I wondered how I was still living when I felt dead inside.
Through that pain I journaled:
Surviving a Broken Heart
The news comes so unexpectedly
At first all is well, then ends in tragedy
To lose a life so small it seems
Unfair with all the sorrow it brings
How can a heart survive the blow
That grief drives in so deep, so low
It filters through the body and more
The spirit, the soul, they all feel sore
Lord mend the wound that bleeds inside
Send peace and grace into my mind
I can’t walk this journey alone
I need your help to make me strong
One night as I lie sleepless in bed, God showed me an incredible picture.
I saw my heart with a jagged wound down the middle, but pulling the wound closed was a big pink “Hello Kitty” Band-Aid. I could tell the wound wasn’t bleeding anymore and that it was sealing shut with the help of the Band-Aid.
A memory flashed through my mind of me as a child repeatedly falling off my bike and scraping my knees. I’d come into the house crying. My knees would hurt so bad. They’d be torn up and bleeding. Dad or Mom would rub my back and tell me it’s going to be okay. They’d wash away the blood, put on triple-antibiotic ointment, apply a Band-Aid, and place a kiss on the boo-boo and say, “All Better.”
This is what Father God is doing for me.
I came to Him with my torn heart. He looked at the wound and said, “It’s going to be okay.” He wiped away my tears and rubbed my back. Then He washed the wound clean with His love. He applied a potent triple antibiotic salve of peace and covered the wound with a Band-Aid. Placing a kiss on the boo-boo, He says, “It will heal.”
Thank you, Lord.
Thank you that you Band-Aid the broken hearts.
I put my trust in you.
My heart is safe in Your hands.
Thanks Daddy, I’m feeling much better.