Band-Aid The Broken

I decided to re-post this blog because several friends of mine are experiencing the same pain that prompted me to write this over a year ago.

Band-Aid the Broken

As many of you know, I lost my daughter Shiloh in December 2011. I felt like my heart was split wide open, aching and bleeding. Four months later, my sister lost her first baby. I felt my heart’s wound widen and the pain grow deeper. Then in August of 2012, I lost another baby, my darling Selah. I didn’t know how a heart so torn with grief could continue to beat. And sometimes, I wondered how I was still living when I felt dead inside.

Through that pain I journaled:

Surviving a Broken Heart
The news comes so unexpectedly
At first all is well, then ends in tragedy
To lose a life so small it seems
Unfair with all the sorrow it brings
How can a heart survive the blow
That grief drives in so deep, so low
It filters through the body and more
The spirit, the soul, they all feel sore
Lord mend the wound that bleeds inside
Send peace and grace into my mind
I can’t walk this journey alone
I need your help to make me strong

One night as I lie sleepless in bed,  God showed me an incredible picture.

I saw my heart with a jagged wound down the middle, but pulling the wound closed was a big pink “Hello Kitty” Band-Aid. I could tell the wound wasn’t bleeding anymore and that it was sealing shut with the help of the Band-Aid.

A memory flashed through my mind of me as a child repeatedly falling off my bike and scraping my knees. I’d come into the house crying. My knees would hurt so bad. They’d be torn up and bleeding. Dad or Mom would rub my back and tell me it’s going to be okay. They’d wash away the blood, put on triple-antibiotic ointment, apply a Band-Aid, and place a kiss on the boo-boo and say, “All Better.”

This is what Father God is doing for me.

I came to Him with my torn heart. He looked at the wound and said, “It’s going to be okay.” He wiped away my tears and rubbed my back. Then He washed the wound clean with His love. He applied a potent triple antibiotic salve of peace and covered the wound with a Band-Aid. Placing a kiss on the boo-boo, He says, “It will heal.”

Thank you, Lord.

Thank you that you Band-Aid the broken hearts.

I put my trust in you.

My heart is safe in Your hands.

Thanks Daddy, I’m feeling much better.

Beautiful Sounds

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Sometimes in life, we become bogged down with the day-to-day that we lose our hearing. Everything becomes static, and we fail to enjoy the beauty around us.

I’ve realized in the recent days how true this has been for me. Instead of looking forward to the day, I looked forward to it ending. Things would wash over me. I failed to listen and take in the moments.

But God has put a Q-tip in my ear and wiped away some stubborn thinking and revealed this verse: Philippians 3:13  (NJKV, paraphrased) “Forget those things which are behind and reach forward to those things which are ahead.”

This verse struck me upside the head and heart. Two words hit me: FORGET and REACH. These are both actions.

First, I FORGET-I actively choose to RELEASE the past. I choose to release the past hurts, pains, disappointments, sorrows, shortcomings, guilt, and failings. AND THEN…

I REACH ahead! I REACH forward. I take physical action to move forward because God wants MORE for me.

God is always available, but I have to respond by making myself available too. A relationship takes two people. God is reaching for me, now I must respond by reaching to Him.

If I choose to keep living life as a routine of busywork, just trying to get another day done and over with, that’s what my life will continue to be. But if I choose to see each day as a fresh start, full of new, unopened opportunity, then that’s what it will be.

Today, I awoke and let out my chickens. I heard the birds in the trees chirping with happiness. It was a beautiful sound.

I came into the house and my daughter was singing in the living room. My heart swelled. What a beautiful sound.

I said, “Thank Lord for improving my hearing.”

My words to Him were a beautiful sound.

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Though the Fig Tree Withers

The prophet Habakkuk’s words resonate with me as he sang this hymn of faith:

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Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NKJV)

“17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls—

18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

19 The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills.”

Today, I cling to Habakkuk’s words.

No matter what troubles and trials I befall, I will rejoice in the Lord, the God of my salvation. He will give me strength and make my feet like those of a deer. I will overcome and will walk on the high hills.

No matter what trials and troubles you might be facing today, know that God will strengthen you. You will bound out of the valley and ascend upon the high hills.

To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen.